Pai and Lettuce  The epic love story
by Fushi Gisou
Summary: NOT BY ME. This story is by my friend who doesn't have an  account. She wrote it in a chatroom. xD
1. The Picnic

**18:15 Moonie** Pai was a man with love for only his computer. But then, he met the love of his life. LETTUCE MIDIKORIWA. It was love at first sight, screw canon!

**18:16 Moonie** So, once some Ryou fan tried to kill Lettuce for kissing Ryou (which made Pai very jealous)

**18:16 Moonie** he asked her to marry him.

**18:16 Moonie** Lettuce said yes because fangirls told her to, and they had a honeyMOON on the MOON.

**18:17 Moonie** Lettuce was a very shy girl. But pai was so hot she made out with him instantly

**18:17 Moonie** canon has nothing on fanfic writers

**18:17 Moonie** NOTHING

**18:18 Moonie** Not yet. When the two woke up, lettuce found herself in a hot alien slave outfit  
(fanservice for Ki, hooray!) and went to the kitchen to make her Pai-Pai happy

**18:20 Moonie** Lettuce asked her darling Pai (who seemed to have forgotten the night before, and goggled her for 30 minutes staight) what he wanted to eat.

**18:20 Moonie** He said to make what was in her hearyt

**18:20 Moonie** And because Lettuce loved Pai so much, she made pai! Chicken pot pai

**18:21 Moonie** He gasped. "Does this mean I'm in your heart?" and she proclaimed, "yes! And there are carrots and celery in the pie, too!" ANd pai knew he had picked the right woman

**18:23 Moonie** Now, lettuce hadn't brought any clothes with her, so pie got her a new wardrobe, every item fanservicey. When she asked where he got the clothes (she disn't mind, though) he said kish had them in storage and probaly would never get to use the outfitsa

**18:24 Moonie** Lettuce shrugged it off and ignored the fact her wardorbe consisted of bunny outfits and maid uniforms (skimpier then the cafes) that looked like Mikuru's wardrobe

**18:26 Moonie** Pai loved lettuce dearly and s, one day, they had a picnic on pluto. Sailor Pluto was feeling very depressed of the events of last year that made her a non unoffical senshi, and now was shunned by the outer scouts, and had been delighted when they asked.

**18:27 Moonie** Pai had brought his computer with him, and Lettuce did not mind. then, dramatically, there was an earthquake!

**18:29 Moonie** Pai quickly gasped. "A pluto quake! Their highly dangerous, oh noes!'

**18:30 Moonie** Lettuce was absent mindingly shaking her but in her bunny suit (for the fan boys) when she and pie's computer tumbuled into the ground

**18:31 Moonie** Pai looked around for one of kish's many super counter parts (Sailor, Mew, Ojamajo, powerpuff girl..) but none were present

**18:31 Moonie** Pai did what no man should ever do

**18:32 Moonie** No, not cry. Turn into a female mew! Thanks to his brother, he had now had mew powers

**18:33 Moonie** So, he dived into the ground and tried to grab his computer and lettuce, but his wife was closer but the laptop was teetering off the edge

**18:33 Moonie** Of course, lettuce's cleavage was showing. For those damn fanboys

**18:35 Moonie** Pai swallowed his love for her computer, and grabbed lettuce's hand. Lettuce did not reconisze him.

**18:36 Moonie** Pie stuttered. 'um, um, um." Lettuce looked widly for the male pie. "Where's my pai-poo?" she shreiked. "That's the thing.." "Your trying to steal my man, aren't you?"

**18:36 Moonie** "actually.." "GET AWAYS FROM HIM, BIZZNATCH" (oh, btw, Pai's a girl right now, remeber?)

**18:37 Moonie** Pai walked away akwardly, falling into water (haha, no life on pluto my arse) and suddenly going back to normal

**18:38 Moonie** Running up to his love, lettuce gasped wsith happyness. "I didn't know you had a haruhi copy right infridged mole!"

**18:38 Moonie** She smiled, and decided to keep the creepyily dirty comment in her head.


	2. The Mall

Poster's note (as I am not the author of this story, I am only posting it for my friend): Due to a complaint, this fanfiction will be posted in a different format than before. This time, I hope it will look less like a "random conversation about Tokyo Mew Mew" (Even though all of the other people's comments were edited out before).

Enjoy.

**Pai and lettuce- the epic love story**

**Chapter Two**

Now, Pai needed a new computer, and decided to go shopping.

Lettuce was paciently making 103 chicken pot pies for her lovey

Pai decided to go to walmart. It seemed cheap. Pai was a cheapsake.

Pai got a shopping cart. He pushed it around, realiszing the thrill it was to push the cart and let it push you forward

And so, pai pushed the cart, and jumped up on th bar with his feet. "WHEEES"

He started crashing in to racks until he found the computer section.

Pai felt like a kid in a candy store. Or, a less stupid sounding anolagy, kish in a men's magazines store.

Pie looked at the beautiful computers.

What attracted him the most were the laptops

Thety were sleek. Beautiful. SHiny.

He had to have one.

Meanwhile, lettuce was chopping 50 carrots, 60 celery sticks, and a few onions, too. She was singing a song by frank sanatra

"LOOOVEEE AND MARRIIIAGEEE LOVE AND MARRRIAGE GO TOGETHER LIKE HORSE AND CARRIAAAGEEEE"

Obviously she related to the song.

Though she thought it would be better to say "Like porpoise and alien"

Pai grabbed the laptop, and put it into his cart, only to relisze it had a rubber thing attatching it to the table."D"

A zit faced teenager stared. "Um, you take the box to the check out, and they give you the laptop there.

"I see." Pai said, stroking his chin as if he had a gotee and lifting the box carefully.

Pai decided to look for clothes for lettuce-dear,

He was able to deciphern what was the women's clothes section. He couldn't find veyr much clothes that looked like the ones she currently owned (he assumed the other clothes wouldn't work)

But he found the right outfits under a section called "lingerine"

Pai glanced around, pciking out the green outfits in aobut the size he though lettuce was. Pai wasn't a natural pervert, so he picked out mostly covered undies

An old, 79 year old women popped out and saw pai. "Want me to wear those for you tonight, sweet cheeks?"

If pai had ever been scared for life, it was then. He dashed away to the other side of the section, loooking over his shoulder incase she was following.

A bunch of men were crowding around pai. "Got a hottie at home, nerd?"

Pai glared. "Yes. SHe's fanservicy. She's even got mikuru's mole."

"THE mikuru's mole?"

"Mhm."

"We worship you, man."

Pai decided to go to check out, now. Not noticing the stares he was getting for the amount of woman's underwear he was buying, the checkout person said 'That will be 473 dollars, please."

Pai dug into his pockets, grabbing about 1000 dollars and shoveing half of it back, and handed the lady the rest.

A random gang of godfatheresk mobsters were standing around, being mobstery. "Looks lik that guy's flashing hees cash."

"Are you gunna get it, boss?"

"No, young grasshopper, be pacient."

"Your not boss!"

"Yea, the movie company decided if the karate kid was so popular, they could just switch me with your boss."

The mobsters shrugged. "Okay."

"But lets go after himk, please! I won't feel like a mobster if we don't." Mr. Horiichi (wasn't that it?) caught a fly with chopsticks. "Okay."

So mr. Horiuchi and his gang got into the mobster mobile, their theme song playing. (DUNA NUNNA NUNNA NUNNA MOBSTERS! (give us your cash!))

Lettuce began to cry into the 102nd pot pie. "Where is my Pie-dear?"

Pie was driving in his convertiable. 'ROLLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLING ON THE HIGHWAAYYYY"

The mobster mobile was gaining on him. Insert super special awesome car chase

(hehe) THEN insert super special awesome car crash.

THEN insert super special awesome gun and fan fight.

Finally, stir in some miracle and Pai's won the fight! And mr. Horiuchi icky fly chopsticks.

Lettuce was at the point of crazyness. She looked at the mixing bowl full of pai batter. It was the only way. SHe had to drown herself in it.

Pie was looking for a place to dump the mobster's bodies. Yes, he manged to kill them. With a fan.

Lady Luck really loves Pie, doesn't she.

But pai could sense his love was in danger. So, he dumped the bodies in a (insert icky fast food place here) meat truck.

Later that month, the menu;s at the place started to say "Made with tough mobster meat".

Pai ran home to his love, wondering if was too late. "Oh my love, are you dead?"

Lettuce wasn't doing anything.

... Moonie "Oh my god, nooooooooO!"

CLIFFHANGER

Intermission

elevator music

Okay, enough with that.

Suddenly, lettuce's head lifted!

"Gasp! Your alive, Pai!"

"Your alive, too!"

They kissed. "You taste like pie batter."

"And you smell like you beat up a bunch of mobsters."

"uh.. new cologne."

twitch.

"That remins me!" She pointed to the pies. Pai squealed.

Pai pulled out the walmart bags. "Happy one week anveristy, lovey-lu!"

Lettuce stared at the overload of underwears. "..pai's as bad as kish." She shrugged it off. "But that's HOT!"


End file.
